Family systems and boundaries

       This week's class I actually really enjoyed. We talked about theories and systems in the family. We talked about how families have boundaries. Lots of families these days are either really closed off, they don't like socializing around others and it's like they built a giant cement wall around their house with barbed wire on top so no one could see into their house or come to their house. Then we have another neighbor whose boundaries are way too open; those are called rigid boundaries where they are very open and very unclear of their own boundaries. They would have no fence around their house and their door would always be unlocked. My professor shared a story of how some girl he knew in his class lived in a house like this where she would have to lock her bedroom door because she would wake up in the morning and not no who stayed over for the night and sometimes she would get home and someone would be sleeping in her bed and that's why she locked the door. Her family didn't care who was over. They would be more of the party house where everyone wanted to go too. Lastly there are clear boundaries who are open and friendly but have set rules that anyone shouldn't step over. They would have a fence around their house where you can still see their house but there are places blocked off that they don't want them to step into. They are usually nice and welcoming people but you usually have to ask so you don't set those boundaries. There are so many different types of boundaries and people these days in so many ways. For me I have my own personal boundaries and they are usually physical boundaries. I am a person who loves hugs and is a very touchy person but I have to be comfortable with the person and they have to be comfortable with it too. We need to make sure we don't over step others' foundries. 

    I also really enjoyed talking about family therapy. Something I thought was pretty interesting was when they first got in there he didn't get straight to the point of asking what the problem was but he asked how they were. He got to know the little girl and how she felt before he started talking to the parents. This kinda gets to know the background of why they are here without even asking them what the problem is. Another good thing would to take the parents out separately to see each side of the story to see if he can connect the dots and try and fix things with less conflict.

In class we did a little Sanrio, a pretend family session. We had a mom, dad and eleven year old daughter. The daughter had been in for therapy on her asthma because she couldn't keep it under control and her mom was very worried about her. The dad worked about 60 hours a week trying to provide for his family, so the wife and daughter rarely were able to see him. The mom did a little side job with art. Her and the daughter would do some art together often and that was building their relationship. The daughter talked about how she was closer to her mom because she was with her dad because he was never home. The mom talked about when she has asthma attacks she will call her husband and tell him what is going on. He can't do much because he is working but he does all that he can like keeping her in her prayers. It was some reassurance to the daughter that her dad provides for her and he cares for her and prays for her when needed. This shows how willing the family was to fix the problems and take their daughter there to see that both of her parents genuinely care about each other. This is not how it will always go. Sometimes they just jump to I want a divorce. I think if you try your best to fix the problem that is the best way to go without jumping to conclusions.