Needs of children and parenting

This week we talked about the Needs of children. The first one is contact, and belonging. This is very important to know that you mean something to other people. I know for me when someone tells me I matter to them it makes me feel happier and I feel like it's worth living because I know people care about me. If we do this for children it will help them know that they are worth it and that they belong here. They will know it also when they grow up they have learned that they belong so they will grow up with more of a positive mindset.

The next one is physical touch. This is also very important knowing someone genuinely cares and it helps them be more calm and relaxed. Our teacher talked about how he had some kid in his ward that was very energetic and was always moving around to the point where he couldn't ever stand still. One day he got up into our teacher's face at church and my teacher didn't really like it. He had an idea that every time he went up to this kid he would shake his hand and shake it the whole time they would talk so that he could have that physical touch. After a while of my teacher doing that he calmed down, wasn't always in other peoples faces and wasn't constantly moving. After a couple of months the kids mom went up to my teacher and thanked him. He got out of trouble everywhere he went and was nicer around the house and helped out with things around the house as well. We also talked about how the parents need to be one of their kids main responses on offering physical contact. Then the kids will know that they can trust their parents and all will be okay!

After talking about these two needs for children we talked about how there needs to be balance between the both of them. Show that they belong and show them physical touch. I also think kids do also need to learn things for their own, so let kids make some decisions for themselves so they can grow and learn from the experiences.

One thing I learned through the readings and also class discussion was talking about rules that our parents give us growing up. The reason why parents give us rules is to help protect your children. Growing up in my house my parents had lots of rules for us. Sometimes they were pretty frustrating, but now that I have moved out and am living on my own, I can say I appreciate it a lot. A lot of the times when you obey your parents rules you build trust between you and your parents. For example my parents always had a curfew for me but it was usually different each night. But the longest I could stay out until was midnight. I would never be home late because if I was there would be a major consequence. I never was late, and if I was going to be late it had to be a good reason and I had to let my parents know why and call them. My parents could trust me for almost anything because they knew I obeyed them. I never had a problem with never being able to go out with my friends because my parents knew I was always safe and checked up with them when they asked and came home when I was asked. There were many frustrating times in my life when my friends could stay out late and I couldn’t and I was mad at my parents. But now I am thankful because I know they were trying to protect me and help me be safe. I can see it with my roommates now because when they are out past midnight I always have the urge to check up on them.